30th of April

Dear Vincent,

Bali Trip is on!!!

I'm thankful that we got a chance to talk last night. I love listening to your stories. For the first time in days, you finally shared me what happened in San Francisco. I know you did well my love.

Last night you said that you're sorry for being grumpy and sensitive. I'm sorry too. Sorry if I stressed you which made you feel pressured. Sorry baby. It's not my intention. I know how you value your job. And I'm here to support you.

And oh, sorry for replying to my school mate's comment. I won't comment back again so you won't get jealous. But really, baby, there's no reason to be jealous.

 I love youuu.


Love,
Karla

29th of April

Dear Vincent,

You sent me a message while at work. You told me that you don't want me to be angry.
You went home early. We made love last night.

I don't know what to feel. You acted as if nothing happened the other day. You told me you were falling out of love. But now, you're acting as if you're in love with me. Please don't tell me that you're doing all these things because you have to. I hope you are doing these because you love me.

Sana magtuloy tuloy na to. Sana mahalin mo na ulit ako tulad ng dati. Mahal na mahal kita. 

Love,
Karla

28th of April

Dear Vincent,

Last night was a blur. I was filled with sadness.
I've came to my senses now. I want to understand you. I really do.

Your mere presence lightens up my world. I love it when you go home early to talk to me. I understand how devoted you are in your job. I'm sorry if you feel pressured to go home early because of me. I will not ask you to go home early anymore. Take your time.

"To be honest, minsan okay lang sakin when we don't talk"

"...I got used to not talking to you every single day"

As promised, I'll be here when you're done with work. You don't have to talk to me if you feel that it's a burden. Just know that I'm here whenever you need me. 

I'm giving you freedom to do what makes you happy. I don't have the right to tell you what to do. I support you all the way.

"I don't know what to do to be a better boyfriend. I have less time for you and I can't do anything about it. I can't manage it."

I'm not complaining nor expecting anything from you. I really want to make this work. 

I'm speechless. I got emotional while reading this again. I can feel that you're starting to fall out of love. I'm praying that God will give me the Vincent who loved me.  

"I don't want to hate you if we push it, and I don't want you to hate me if I can't give you what you want"

This make sense to me now. When I read our conversation last night, I think I'm being selfish. I wanted you to stay with me. I still do. Yet somehow, I felt that I'm selfless because I only care about loving you and forget what will I feel if you can't give me what I want. But now, I can't do anything about it. I'm lifting it all up to God. I'm praying that he'll guide our relationship. 

I love you. I always will. 

Love,

Karla

27th of April

Dear Vincent,

YOU'RE BACKKKKKKKKK!

I'm glad that you went home early today. Thanks for making it up to me. LOL.
You slept on me last night.

*UPDATE*

You broke up with me.


Love,
Karla

26th of April

Dear Vincent,

Yesterday was the saddest day of my life here in Korea.

I was so sad because we don't talk anymore. I tried to go out to be distracted. I thought I'll be entertained in a zoo. But it made me sadder. I've seen families, couples, and friends. I felt so alone. I really wish I could spend time with you and with my family.

I got my heart broken when I heard the news about Jonas. It's really sad that I would not be able to see him again. HUHUHUHU!!!!

But this morning, you sent me a message. The day has just started but it's already complete. I love you baby. I hope we can talk more this week.

Love,
Karla

24th of April

Dear Vincent,

You finally sent me a message this morning. I was in the church that time praying for your safety, praying for our relationship, praying for our future.

I terribly miss you. I love you baby.

Love,
Karla

23rd of April

Dear Vincent,

I was so sick last night. I have a fever. I'm helpless. I cried myself to sleep. I terribly miss you.

I know you're busy there. I understand that you have a crappy signal.

I'm just here my love. I love you.

Even though we don't talk that much. I believe that I'm always on your mind.

I love you baby.

Love,

Karla

22nd of April

Dear Vincent,

"Vincent is busy everyday. He always wakes up early in the morning. Then, he washes his face and brushes his teeth. After that he gets dressed. He never forgets to have breakfast. He usually eats bacon and eggs for breakfast. But he sometimes has cereals instead. He leaves his home at eight every day."

I miss you so much that I keep on using your name in my examples. I'm praying that you're having a good time in San Francisco. I really really miss you. These trials are temporary. We will see each other soon.

You're the reason why I'm motivated. You're my inspiration.

I love you.

Love,
Karla

21st of April

Dear Vincent,

I MISS YOUUUUU. Inumaga ka na naman kahapon HUHUHUHU!

We don't talk much anymore. I know that you're tired and restless. I won't complain if you have less time for me. I'm just worried about you.


Love,
Karla.

20th of April

Dear Vincent,

HOY GRABE KA BEH.

You're so workaholic. HUHUHU! You went home at 2:30 am my time. Kalerks!
I didn't sleep because I was so so worried!!!

Last night, I decided not to try Jessica's jacuzzi because I wanna spend more time with you. But you're such a busy bee. Huhubels. I just exercised instead. LOL. Let's just go to Bali, Indonesia when we are both free. I'd rather give it to other writers than go there without you.

I love you darling!!!!

Love,
Karla

19th of April

Dear Vincent,

I'm so busy today. I'm translating the sermon because I wasn't able to do it last Sunday. Because FOOD HUHUHUHUHU! I'm about to finish it. Yayyyy!

When are you coming back to the toilet? HAHAHA! You only talk to me when you're in the toilet. LOL. I miss you bully baby! Yeah right. I already accepted that you find happiness in bullying me. :P

Sorry if I'm more familiar with the word buffet than buffer. Hahahaha! I'm so excited to go back to the Philippines. Grabe malapit na malapit na! Mayayakap na kita!!!!

Babe sorry if you feel that I'm always away. I was really hurt last night when you said "Laging wala ang asawa ko." I'll be better. Haven't you noticed that I reply right away when you send me a message? I'll do my best so you won't feel that way.

I know you also want to go out like me. I understand that you're so busy with work. I'm sorry that you have to take that afternoon shift instead of morning. I blame myself because you feel that way. If it makes you feel better, I'm willing to give up going to different places.

Your feelings are more important than mine. That's how much I love you. If you're happy then I'm happy. :)


Love,
Karla

18th of April

Dear Vincent,

I MISS YOUUUUU!

Well, since it's Monday, it's my day off! I went out with a new friend named Jessica.
We went to Chonggyecheon Stream, and CaFace!

I saw a couple taking their selfie together. I imagined us. I imagine the corny things we will do together. HAHAHA! Life feels so good thinking that you're in my life.

I look forward to that day that we don't need to use our phones or any gadget. The day when we will just enjoy each others company. Oh wait, let's use a camera to capture our moments. Please learn how to take photos because I might ask you to do it more often. If we take a selfie, let's use your arm because it's longer. Please? 

I love you baby! It's 5am in LA, and you're still not home. HUHUHUHU! I miss youuuu.

Love,

Karla

17th of April

Dear Vincent,

Today, you asked me to delete this blog. I wanted to.
But I already invested too much feelings here.
I know you won't read this anymore. Maybe it's my time to write again.
I'm not writing now because you said so. I'm writing because I need to let it all out.

April is the start of Spring here in Korea. I've started going to the park to exercise.
You've been very busy lately that you go home in the morning.
I had more time for myself, but we got less time together.
I always cry when I wake up 2 or 3am and see that you were online at 12am.
I really long for you.

Sometimes, I try sleeping at 7pm to 9pm just to make sure that I'm awake at 12am to catch you.
I will never complain because I love what I'm doing. And I know, I hope that you won't slap into my face that you took a different shift for me.

This month, I've watched the Korean drama "Descendants of the Sun." I told you that Song Joong Ki is my crush. LOL. Not really love, you're the only handsome guy in my eyes! Btw, that Korean drama helped me stayed awake for a couple of days so I can catch you. ;)

I've been touring around Seoul and searching for places with Cherry Blossoms. I'm really amazed, love. In all those places I've been, I keep on saying, "This will be more beautiful if you are here."
I really look forward meeting you babe.

Good thing, Anne stayed in my place for a week. I was able to have a photographer hihi. I apologize in the future because I know that I'll ask you to take a picture of me countless times.

I can feel that you trust me more now. Thanks for allowing me to attend the birthday party of Cathy. Thanks for believing in me. Thank you for your trust love.

I guess you won't be able to read this anymore. I'll publish it anyway.

Love,
Karla

17th of April

Dear Vincent,

I'm sorry for not updating this for too long. I'm sorry for asking you too much last night.
I was hurt when you said that we need space because I'm nakakainis. HUHUBELS!
I'll be better.

I love you baby.

Love,
Karla